The golden thing about UVU is just being seen.
I'm originally from San Antonio, Texas. I have five brothers and sisters, and we didn't grow up with a lot. It was always hard to get attention in the house. We were always fighting for that attention, and we would annoy each other. I think all of us struggled with feeling confident to approach people. Communication became an important thing to me.
But when it came to learning, I always felt smart. Early on, I was put into the gifted and talented program. I always had the top grade in the class and my teachers always expressed, “Oh yeah, Hannah, she's that smart kid.” But more than that, I just really loved stories. I wanted to be a writer. Whether it was books, TV, or movies, I loved any form of story. I was that kid staying up until 3 a.m. reading their third book of the day.
When I was in high school, those feelings of not having the confidence to be myself around people [made me] never know exactly where I belonged. My junior year, I [took] an intro to theatre class. We weren't allowed to be in any of the plays, but we would make our own skits in class. We wrote some silly comedies, and I was the weird old lady. My teacher approached me and asked me if I would be willing to join the advanced theatre class the next semester because he had a part for me in a play. At the time, I was in ROTC, feeling very wrong there. [So], I moved into the [advanced theatre] class.
That was the first time that I felt like I could be in front of people and [felt] a bit more confident. I didn't feel self-conscious [about] being silly. I was telling a story. I wouldn't be judged. They were looking at the story I was telling. I could finally feel like myself while not playing myself. And then, when I went to college, it all went away.
I moved to Utah for college, and all of my roommates were from a specific type of household that I was not from. There was that sense of rejection there. One day, [I went with] my roommates on a steep hike.I had a severe asthma attack while I was hiking and [eventually couldn’t] get out of bed because I was wheezing and couldn't breathe for two weeks. That just added to all this other stress that I was having where I didn’t know how to function. In college, you have to study. I didn't know how to study. I didn't know how to organize myself. I didn't know what was going on. It all [came] so easily before. I stopped going to class [during] my second semester. I felt like a failure.
The one place I felt comfortable was my [first college’s] English language center. I had been volunteering with two students there who had spinal muscular atrophy. It was the only place that I felt motivated to get out of bed. I was good at teaching English and pronunciation, so it felt like a place where I belonged and was needed. I started going to class again, and [things] seemed good. But I got a part-time job on top of taking 15 credits, and I was so overwhelmed that I started feeling sick.
I finally got an appointment with a doctor to find out what was going on. By the end of [the appointment], she's like, “You have anxiety-induced depression. We're going to give you this medication.” I didn’t want to believe that diagnosis. I was just like, “I am not depressed. I am perfectly functional. I am normal.” I did take the medication for a while. And what I didn't notice, because I didn't have anybody to tell me, was that I started getting worse and worse. The depression got so severe that I missed a class [again]. I felt so embarrassed. It got to the point where I had to drop out because if I didn't leave, I didn't know what was going to happen. So, I quit school and went back home.
I worked as a nanny for a while and did some other things. But I still just felt lost. I didn't feel like I had a future ahead of me. And then my friend Tatsu passed away. [He was] one of the young men I was volunteering with at the English language center. I hopped on a plane to go see his family. While I was there, [Tatsu’s] brother introduced me to my husband. That was the turning point for me because I finally had somebody that I knew believed in me. He told me that he felt like I was the smartest person, and I felt motivated for the first time in a long time.
We got married [on] January 2, 2014, and moved to Idaho right after so [my husband] could go to school. For the first year, while I supported him through school, I started gaining some confidence in my ability to talk to people because [of my] customer service job. I realized that I was good with conflict management and prioritizing people. So, I finally went back for about two years. Every semester, I had a perfect 4.0 and was one of the top [students] in the class. And yet, I still didn't feel acknowledged.
I was told that if I didn't apply for the public relations program by the next semester with two internships behind me, they wouldn't accept me into the program. So, I talked to the professor because I had just found out that I was pregnant with my son. I was like, “I am pregnant, and I'm sick. Can I apply for the winter?” He said, “Yeah, you can, but you're probably not going to get in.” That was a slap in the face. I was a good student. I was working so hard. I was a new mother, and I didn't feel supported.
In 2018, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and everything made sense in my life. It was the reason I didn't have confidence growing up. It was the reason for my anxiety. It was the reason why I failed out of school. I literally couldn't function because I do not have executive functioning skills. I didn't realize how much that was affecting my life. I finally found hope to be able to not just manage it but use it. I took a class while at [the same] school, and on his last day, the professor said, “If the school isn't serving you, you don't need to be there. The reason to go to school is [to] get what you need.” That was exactly what I needed to hear. There was no reason for me to be at that school. That day, I was like, “I’m going to UVU.”
I transferred the next semester in the middle of COVID. [After] the first year, once I stepped into a classroom, I understood [why] UVU is so different. The professors know who I am. They know that I have children. They know that I work hard. They know me on a personal level, and they see me. That was a game-changer. For the first time since I started going to college, I wasn't just running uphill with nowhere to go. I finally felt like I could see the end. I was learning applicable communication skills from the PR program. I [discovered] that communication was my calling. I would never have known that if I didn't have the opportunities that UVU gave me. I learned more at UVU than I did in any other class I've ever taken.
I joined the Public Relations Student Society of America (PRSSA). It’s a national organization that is catered to people who are interested in communications and PR. I felt like I could do something with it, so I messaged them, and I was like, “Can I have this board position that's open?” And that was the moment that my future opened up. Within two months, I was president of the club, and suddenly [even] professors I didn’t have classes with knew me. I was meeting alumni — UVU alums are the best — and all of these amazing people that I wouldn't have met if I hadn't moved to UVU and had the courage to approach people.
I had a professor who messaged me, “Hannah, have you considered applying for the Utah State Legislative internship?” And I was like, “Well, I've looked at it, but I have three kids. So, no.” She messaged me, “I'm setting up a meeting. We're going to talk about it, and we're going to find a way for you to do it.” I laughed about it, and my husband said, “Why aren't you applying then? You need to do this.” It's a statewide internship, but the program at UVU has the best-organized program for the Utah State Legislature internship of any school in Utah. They teach you before you get out there, and you have an actual community of students before you get to the Capitol. So, I applied and did the internship. That was another life-changing decision that I made.
I came out of that with a new perspective on communications, knowledge about our community, and I learned so much about politics. By the end, most of the legislative leaders knew me, and many of them told me that they wanted me to be their intern. But most importantly, I learned that I can do it. I now work as a part-time employee at the Herbert Institute for Public Policy as the communications and events coordinator while I'm [finishing] school. I don't know if I would have ever finished school if it weren't for the support that UVU provides.
I am so freaking proud to be a Wolverine. The biggest reason that I chose to go to UVU is that the students are the core of the school,so UVU provides resources that actually help parents, women, minorities, and all these different groups. The Wee Care Center has made me feel like I can go to school and trust that my kids are not just being watched but being taken care of, being educated, and having fun. It is such an incredible daycare. When I was nursing my youngest, I would use the Mamava pods on campus. When I needed to study and do homework, I would go to the parent room. The golden thing about UVU is just being seen.
Links
Public Relations Student Society of America
Gary R. Herbert Legislative Internship
