Sinking

All I feel is sinking

Thick water fills my lungs

When does it end?

Black ocean waves steal my soul All hope–all faith of being saved–lost

Smile.

My brain calls from beyond

Smile so they won’t see the pain

Smile so they won’t see the destruction

Smile so they won’t see the mess YOU made

The mess I made?

The watery lies that drag me deeper

The false kelpies that taunt me

I fabricated my own demise

The sinking feeling of being alone, forgotten, speechless

Yet, no one will ever see

No one will ever know

These internal waters will forever be

A hidden ocean

I look back,

With my silver sun-slicked

Single eye

To a pale blue dot,

A sole period ending

Some unspoken, unbroken line of radio light,

From here to my home, insignificant,

In the open question of space.

Do they think of me?

Shade their eyes against

The sun’s consuming glare?

Look back to the sky

Then walk away?

They don’t know

I gaze upon them, too.

How could they know?

I am too small.

My light lies lost

In the vast span between planets,

A stretch so insubstantial

Against the night.

I am bound,

Towards some unknown, unwanted station

At the soul of the galaxy twenty-seven thousand light years away,

A distance so vast

Time is greater than miles.

I look back and wonder:

Who will be left,

Waiting for my light’s return?

Sweep, clean, swap

Wash, fold, swap

Sweep, clean, swap

Wash, fold, swap.

And endless cycling routine

Still, away I run and run

desiring an open door.

Again, I’m caught

—With no escape

Dragged unto a lifeless chore.

Sweep, clean, swap

Run, run, run

Wash, fold, swap

Run, run, run

A shell of what once was.

Captive to humanity’s pressure

Yet, I yearn to be set free

From this prison’s social clock.