![Support for Navigating your LGBTQ+ and LDS Identity](/studenthealth/psych/mhblog/images/pridewilly.jpg)
![Support for Navigating your LGBTQ+ and LDS Identity](/studenthealth/psych/mhblog/images/pridewilly.jpg)
Support for Navigating your LGBTQ+ and LDS Identity
By Ben Bailey, Ph.D.
Published September 13, 2021
Recently, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, an apostle for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints delivered an address intended for faculty and staff at Brigham Young University (BYU). In this address Elder Holland encouraged BYU faculty and staff to “defend… marriage as the union of a man and a woman.”[i] We at Student Health Services (SHS) have met with many UVU students, that are trying to navigate both an LGBTQ+ Identity and LDS identity, who experienced this address as painful and confusing. Although this specific address was a difficult reminder for many, the emotional turmoil that can generally come from navigating these two identities is a consistent reason that many LGBTQ+ students seek out therapy at SHS. I and my colleagues at SHS have spent many hours talking with concerned clients and we understand that there are no simple answers. Determining the best path forward is often full of pain and struggle. If you are hurting right now, we want you to know that we honor your pain as valid and understandable. We have also been honored to witness the resilience of our LGBTQ+ clients and have felt joy as we see many of them flourish in our community.
In my own experience working with my LGBTQ+ clients, perhaps the most powerful resource available is that of community. Community can be found directly through various clubs and services on campus or other “in person” and online forums. Community can also be found indirectly through reading books and listening to podcasts. Because I believe community is so helpful, I would like to recommend the following resources that have benefitted many of my clients navigating these two identities. These resources start with different assumptions about how people would like to navigate their LDS and LGBTQ identities, therefore not all of the resources will be helpful to everyone. The good news is that there are a lot of resources out there. If one isn’t affirming to you, there are others! I have also spoken with many straight and cisgender people who have found these resources helpful for their empathy and advocacy for LGBTQ+ folx. I am not personally endorsing these resources, I can only say I have received feedback that they have been helpful for some folx.
Community
First and foremost, let me recommend what UVU has to offer:
Sometimes navigating these two identities can become so overwhelming, confusing and painful that our students contemplate suicide. If this is you, we want you to know there is hope. Crisis Services is a branch of Student Health Services; I work very closely with all of the crisis counselors and I can personally affirm that they are kind and compassionate people who want to help you. If you need someone to talk to, I invite you to reach out to them.
Student Health Services' Therapists attending Lavender Graduation 2021. Left to right: Ben Bailey, Ammon Cheney, and J.C. Graham.
Currently LGBT Student Services is directed by Emily Branvold. If you haven’t had the chance to meet Emily, I personally believe you are missing out. Emily is deeply aware of the LGBTQ+ community and the LDS community and would be an adept person to rely on. They have worked hard to create a safe space for everyone here at UVU. As far as the LBGT Student services they often put on affirming and educative activities and their student lounge is a great place to get to know other UVU students who are LGBTQ+.
Spectrum: Queer Student Alliance at UVU
Spectrum is an awesome club. I have been lucky enough to attend one of their club meetings to do a mental health presentation and I was so impressed by their kindness and understanding of their LGBTQ+ peers. They often meet weekly and have fun activities. In my experience this club is an affirming place to create friendships and navigate one’s identity.
Second, here are some resources outside of UVU. Because I do not have direct experience with these communities, I have taken the descriptions directly from their websites.
“Affirmation creates worldwide communities of safety, love, and hope and promotes understanding, acceptance, and self-determination of individuals of diverse sexual orientations, gender identities and expressions. We affirm the inherent self-worth of LGBTQIA+ individuals as complete, equal, and valuable persons and support them as they define their individual spirituality and intersection with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.[ii]”
“North Star is a faith-affirming resource for Latter-day Saints addressing sexual orientation and gender identity, and who desire to live in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ and the doctrines and values of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.[iii]”
“Encircle is a non-profit organization with the mission to bring the family and community together to enable our LGBTQ+ youth to thrive.” This organization is primarily geared toward youth (ages 12-25) and their families, they offer drop-in hours as a safe place to hang out, daily structured activities, friendship groups, and therapy.
Podcasts
This is a podcast where a former Mormon Bishop, Richard Ostler, (straight, cis-gender and still active in the LDS faith,) interviews people, primarily LGBTQ+ Folx that stay in the church, but also occasionally ones who leave. He also does interviews of other "unconventional members" like people who are divorced, couples who have navigated life after affairs, folx with mental health issues, ect. Richard is very prolific and usually averages 3 podcasts a week so there are lots of interviews.
This is a podcast where one BYU employee, Ben Schillaty, and one BYU student, Charlie Bird, who both identify as gay, “discuss questions they are commonly asked as gay members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.[iv]” Recently they discussed Holland’s talk in an episode named "What do I do if I’m hurt by something a Church leader says?"
This podcast has a lot of stories of both those who stay in the LDS faith and those who choose to leave. Among these stories are a large collection of stories from LGBTQ+ Latter Day Saints. In the above link you will find an interview with Matt Easton who was specifically referenced in Holland’s address. This podcast is produced by John Delhlin, who was formerly active in the LDS faith but had his membership withdrawn by the church.
Books
Queer Mormon Theology: An Introduction
In this book, Blaire Ostler, a queer intersex person, creates space within Mormon theology for a person to be fully queer and fully Mormon. Blaire also offers suggestions for how people in the Mormon faith can advocate for LGBTQ individuals within the church.
That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family
In this book, Tom Christofferson, the brother to the LDS Apostle Todd Christofferson, shares his personal journey of first leaving the LDS faith and then returning into full fellowship. Tom also discusses ways to create more space for LGBTQ individuals within the LDS Faith.
LDS, Straight and Cisgender Allyship and Advocacy
“The MBB ministry is about making every congregation welcoming to LGBTQIA+ people. The MBB community does not center itself around a single leader or organizational body; instead MBB is a movement centered around a sense of ministry and mission. It is not a formal organization and there are no formal members. The MBB ministry embraces and amplifies all thoughtful innovation and collaboration that helps LGBTQIA+ people to thrive.” This group has made itself popular by marching in pride parades with attire typically associated with church attendance.
Emmaus is a community of heterosexual/cisgender and LGBTQ Latter-day Saints who are called to ministry for the safety, well-being and happiness of LGBTQ people in and adjacent to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This group is primarily is interested in working within the LDS church organization and structure through bishops and stake presidents to set up safe spaces for LGBTQ+ folx.
[i]https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders-and-ministry/2021-08-23/elder-holland-byu-university-conference-love-lgbtq-223095
[ii]https://affirmation.org/about/
[iii]https://www.northstarlds.org/introduction
[iv]https://questionsfromthecloset.com/