We were so close! I mean, Covid didn’t turn people into actual zombies, but we all
barricaded ourselves in our homes, took measures to prevent the disease, and stockpiled
toilet paper. It was almost the Zombie Apocalypse. Don’t tell me you haven’t dreamed of it. My only regret in
all of this is not being able to use my katana. Alas.
Most people are done with the apocalypse and ready for it to be over. Even the introverts.
I happen to be an introvert, so I’ll have to qualify that with a ‘sorta’. I’m ‘sorta’
done with it.
It’s rebuild time.
The social isolation imposed by the pandemic has taken a toll. The lack of social
presence and human interaction can be subtle but it is there. Often, extroverts can
experience a drop in mood, which they tie directly to absence of socializing, even
if they utilize online ‘socializing’. Introverts can find themselves wondering why
they don’t feel 100%. (After all, they typically feel fine keeping to themselves,
so why should it be a problem now?) But we all need social presence to some degree.
Hint: that takes actual presence. Don’t fool yourself into thinking TikTok is social
presence.
But a changing environment is a difficult thing. We have to determine some way to
deal with that change.
Often there is one of two recurring themes in zombie shows: curing the disease or
learning to survive. The hope in a ‘curing the disease’ story is a part of wanting
things to return to the way they were before. The ‘learning to survive’ story abandons
this in favor of living without things changing. Either revert back or adapt.
Which story are we living in?
With the arrival of the vaccine, we seem to be living more closely to the disease
cure than the survival story, but certainly reality departs from story. Unlike the
fictional stories, our reality will never be a complete return to normal. It’s a ‘new’
normal, but still a different one. One requiring adaptation. Both stories have elements
that find their way into our reality.
What “new normal” can mean is that circumstances aren’t going to be a complete return
to how things were, nor are we just stuck with living with the disease. But adapting
to our environment can often occur as a slide into resignation. ‘What’s that? Another
zombie? Oh, how predictable…Hubert, hand me the chainsaw.’
It may help, instead, to appreciate that we, ourselves, can change, rather than expect
the environment to do so. We often go through life letting our environment affect
us rather than us affecting our environment.
We tell ourselves to fix the thing that’s caused life to change or we tell ourselves
to forget finding a solution and adapt to how life has changed. These are two passive
responses to the different kinds of stories. But either of these may overlook another
solution: change yourself.
Circle up.
Most of the time we passively accept negative changes in our environment but only
adapt to it out of resignation. We tell ourselves we can’t change the situation; we’re
stuck with it. Mentally, we give up as if there is nothing to be done. But resignation
may be considered a type of resentment as opposed to acceptance. I imagine many of us have developed resignation in various forms, whether to the
changing circumstances into the Zombie Apocalypse or even to those of the ‘new’ normal.
Look and see if there’s not a part of resignation going on for you in either story.
We may even justify the resignation by pointing to the inability to change our environment:
‘I mean, unless you’re actually manufacturing the cure, what can you do? May as well
just suck it up.’ But the resentment is still there.
True acceptance is a different tack from that of resignation! True acceptance holds
no resentment.
True acceptance is an act of proactivity. It’s something we do with our heart. True
acceptance is an act of choosing something otherwise unwanted. It only operates as
paradox (because who would want to choose something you don’t want?). As a Paradox
and with a sincere heart. True acceptance neither asks that we deny reality nor how
we feel about it. It asks that we assert ourselves in choosing to take in what is
otherwise disagreeable. It may be an integration of the unwanted but, if done actively,
wholeheartedly, it transcends the intolerable. It’s something only a living human
can do (no wonder the Zombies want us).
Consider giving your heart over to choosing even the unwanted elements in your own
circumstances. Let that paradox be the part you write in to the story, rather than
let the world around you be written while you stand by.
Taige Bybee is the Director of Mental Health Services at Student Health. He enjoys
‘therapizing’ UVU students. In some stories he is known as a vampire.
