My name is Clayton Rawson, and I am a proud Wolverine.

I am the only child of my mother’s second marriage. I have three half-sisters, but the difference in age, the smallest age gap being 10 years, made it difficult to connect with them. Due to the disconnect, I often viewed myself as an only child. The most significant relationship I had in my family was the one I shared with my mother. She played a significant role in instilling my love for music and learning. It became apparent in the second grade I could barely read, so she acted by reading me books. The books she read were always science books because my extended family consisted of many individuals in the field of medicine. Our time spent reading these books was the kindling for my love of medicine.

Later in my childhood, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s and dyslexia — explaining why I had trouble reading as a child. While I did not struggle academically, I was slow with social interaction. I experienced feelings of isolation as I watched peers succeed socially and did not see the same progress for myself. New social situations posed an obstacle for me to make connections with people, as it was hard for me to adapt. These social struggles caused me to gravitate toward individuals that were easy to get along with. Unfortunately, this led me to an individual in my church ward that would sexually abuse me. This event changed the course of my future in many ways, particularly causing me to question my sexuality. It was in high school I discovered that I was attracted to men, which isolated me further. I was and am an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and discovering I am gay brought significant conflict with my beliefs. It is difficult to find fulfillment in a religion when you can never be happy with what the religion expects of you. From this point on, I hid that part of myself and was always working to keep it secret. As I made more friends, it was harder to hide my sexuality. My peers also began to pick on me for the weight I gained, causing me to join different groups where I could hide my sexuality and be safe from bullying. In the end, I realized I would have to figure out where I was, what I wanted, and how I wanted to deal with the intersection of religion and sexual attraction.

When high school concluded, I was exhausted. I enrolled at Utah Valley University for two semesters and did not have a good experience — I was overwhelmed, underprepared, and ended up dropping out. I was burned out from school, so I spent several years after graduation working, traveling, and discovering a love for scuba diving. I spent those years wandering in part due to my Asperger’s and understanding my sexuality. Another obstacle I faced continuing my education was the lack of support from my family. Medicine and law are a big part of my family, but when I expressed aspirations to pursue the medical field, my extended family repeatedly told me that “it was not for me,” that I should pursue another field.

It wasn’t until I was 25 that I considered returning to UVU. At this time, an institute teacher at my church spoke with me and encouraged me to continue my education. When I came back to UVU, I felt broken in many ways. I knew I wanted to pursue medicine but had no confidence in my abilities to get there. I was desperate to prove to myself and others that I could succeed. 

During my first few semesters, I carefully selected classes in order to gauge myself but not push myself too hard — to my surprise, I got a 4.0 GPA my first few semesters back. It was then my confidence started building, and I began believing that I could prove my family and myself wrong — that my dream could happen.

My turning point at UVU was when I met Dr. Eddy Cadet, a UVU earth science professor, and he accepted me into his research lab. Dr. Cadet is not afraid to take in someone who is otherwise considered an “underdog” and help them see their potential. My involvement in his lab led to small successes over time as I advanced from grunt work to leading projects to assuming the role of the lab’s lead. It was in the role of lab lead that Dr. Cadet and I fostered a connection, and I felt comfortable opening up to him. He helped solidify my desire to pursue medicine while instilling a new love for research. I went into Dr. Cadet’s lab not knowing what I wanted to do and left knowing exactly what I wanted to be: a physician-scientist.

After joining Dr. Cadet’s lab, my involvement on campus flourished. I went on to get involved in the Excellence and Innovative Initiative, UVU Honors Program, Center for Social Impact, Honors Ambassadors, Student Alumni Ambassadors, the Learn Engage Acquire Discover (L.E.A.D.) program, and now serve as UVU Student Association’s senator for the College of Science. Each experience built my confidence as I met new peers and fostered relationships with professors. I also capitalized on my love for research to the point where I was involved with six different labs at one time. I finally started to feel like I could achieve what I set my mind to, and with that, I decided to “bet big” on myself by applying to the Presidential Internship. After an intense application process, I was selected to serve under Kelly Flanagan, VP of Digital Transformation, as his intern. Under Kelly, I worked on campus-wide projects, such as UVU’s new mobile app and a Digital Learning Gallery. At the conclusion of my internship, Kelly extended the offer for me to continue working with him — an uncommon opportunity for an intern. It was an immense honor. I reflected on the work it took to get to this point, and I finally felt like I had made it. The bonds that once tied me to the belief I could not pursue my dreams were broken.

After 12 years at Utah Valley University, I plan on graduating in May 2023 with a bachelor’s in biology and chemistry with a minor in psychology. In May 2022, I will take the Medical College Admission Test (MCAT) and apply to medical school; I plan to apply to MD/Ph.D. programs. My dream is to teach at a medical school while simultaneously seeing patients and conducting research. I aspire to be a pediatric neurosurgeon specializing in oncology.

To any current or prospective Wolverines, President Astrid S. Tuminez always says, “Come as you are!” UVU is a place that will meet you at your level and help you develop into a person that surpasses even your own expectations. My experience here has taught me no matter how dark and hopeless it may seem, there is always hope.