“Sometimes, you have to take a step into the dark and anticipate the light will move.”

I am a first-generation college student who finished my degree at Utah Valley University in 2018, shortly after my 50^th birthday. I always knew that I wanted to finish college, but it took me longer than usual to figure what I wanted and how to get there.

When I finished high school, I didn’t have anyone there that could help me navigate the complex world that comes after graduation.

Growing up in Southern California, there were very few people with my same religious beliefs. Wanting to be in a place where my religion was more prevalent, I made my way to Dixie College in Utah. There I earned my associate degree and married my husband.

I thought that raising a family as a young mother meant I wouldn’t be able to finish my degree. After a few years, my husband and I decided to move to California. There I got a job with the local school district so I could work when my kids were in school and have time off when they didn’t have school. This arrangement worked for many years, but I was filled with frustrations as a teacher’s assistant for 11 years. I watched as some teachers struggled to teach basic concepts I knew I could teach well. I worked individually with my students. They told me I should be a teacher because they understood what they were learning when I taught them. It was frustrating to think that the only thing standing between me and a job that I loved was a simple piece of paper. For many years, I was filled with regret that I didn’t finish my college education. I had come to accept that I had missed my chance and would regret that decision for the rest of my life. It was a done deal.

Eventually, I grew frustrated with this plague of regret and decided to do something about it. By this time, all my kids were grown and had moved to Utah, so I thought that if I wanted to go back to school, Utah was the place for me. Once I made the decision, my adventure had only just begun.

I immediately began wondering how I would even start school again, where we would live, and how I would afford to pay tuition. One day, I was listening to a podcast and I still distinctly remember a line from it that said, “Sometimes, you have to take a step into the dark and anticipate the light will move.” Filled with newfound confidence, but without any idea of how an education as nontraditional as mine would work, my husband and I packed up and moved to Utah. I hoped that as I kept moving forward, the light would move, opportunities would come, and things would begin to happen.

We moved to Utah, and I began working toward residency. Rejection from other schools in the state led me to a summer term at Utah Valley University in 2017. When I arrived on campus for the first day of classes, my dream was still alive — but I was resigned to the thought that no other university would accept me. I was increasingly nervous to try to go through school again because of a voice tremor that I had developed in my late 30s. When I first came to campus, I decided I was going to sit in the back of the class against the wall. I was not going to talk to anyone. I was just going to do my work, finish in two years, and be done.

 

I quickly learned that Utah Valley University was not like any other school I had attended. Here at UVU, it’s all about engaged learning. I saw that a degree was more than “just a piece of paper,” as my studies pulled me in to an array of new experiences. Forget endless lectures and reading. Here at UVU, we learn in groups to edify and help one another. We take service-learning classes to get out and work in the community. We engage with the things that we are learning. I decided early on that I wanted to be successful, I could succeed at UVU if I set my mind to it. If being successful meant that I needed to engage, I’d engage despite my voice tremor.

 

 

All fears and doubts went out the door as I worked with fellow students who talked with me and worked with me, despite being several years their elder. Professors don’t need to work to bring nontraditional students into the fold — our student body does that. Traditional students accept nontraditional students with something called kindness. Here at UVU, we accept one another for who we are. We work together because we want everyone to be successful. Everywhere I went, I felt such an environment of support. There were places on campus that wanted to help me. I received emails for first-generation activities and a newsletter. I gained the confidence to keep going just by knowing that fellow Wolverines knew who I was.

In my first few months at UVU, I was hired for part-time work at the Women’s Success Center. I didn’t think that they would hire me because of my voice tremor, but they accepted me for who I was and offered me the job. I struggled with a voice tremor for some time — and now I was talking to everyone who came in to visit. I was calling people every second of the day, and working with students, faculty, and staff. I succeeded, and I quickly moved from a part-time job to a full-time position with the Women’s Success Center. Throughout my time at UVU, my story was told by the Daily Herald in a section that spotlights women. I was nominated for the Wolverine of the Week, and President Tuminez interviewed me live during her video series, “Talk with Tuminez.” Everywhere I went at UVU, I was inspired, accepted, and encouraged to pursue my dreams.

I quickly learned that Utah Valley University is a wonderfully diverse and vibrant campus full of gritty, passionate people like me — people who are looking for a second chance at an education. No matter your story, no matter where you come from, no matter your disability, step into the dark and take a chance because UVU has a place for you.